Lorian's Trial
by jossujb
Summary: Lorian is only fourteen years old, and yet he has to face his father's death like this. (Translation of a Finnish work)


Lorian sat in the corridor outside the sickbay. His father had only a few days left, perhaps a week, and T'Pol wasn't here. Lorian didn't miss anything as much as his mother's advice now, but the Doctor and the Captain had warned him not stall and wait for her. The message of the accident wouldn't necessarily reach T'Pol in time anyway. They said, that Lorian wouldn't want his father to suffer his last days completely alone.

Halls and corridors of the Enterprise were cramped and dark, but here had Lorian born and under these bars and panels and gears he had played and grown up. In that little notch, where Lorian had hidden himself in, was safe to be. In the gentle hum of the warp engine, one that vibrated the hull, it was easy to rule your emotions and be a good Vulcan boy.

Lorian was only fourteen, but according to tradition, he should have already been gone through the rite of _Kash-wan_ , which meant the transition from childhood to young adulthood in all Vulcans life. _Kahs-wan_ was an essential part of the Vulcan heritage, something that predated even Surak and the ideology of logical principles. T'Pol, T'Les, T'Mir, and all foremothers and fathers before them had survived ten days in desert isolation. Upon their return to the home they were celebrated as mature to withstand all trials of life. Modern Vulcans didn't necessarily 'rejoice' per se – but Kash-wan was nevertheless a significant accomplishment.

But Lorian hadn't stepped his foot on Vulcan, nor Earth for that matter. His father was a Human and deadly ill. It was in Human customs to go and be with the dying in solidarity. Lorian wasn't sure if he could control the hurricane rampaging inside him, if he were to be brave enough to come outside of his humming hiding place. Having not gone through the rites of passage, he was nothing but a child.

"Hey… sonny. Young Tucker", said the Captain Archer somewhat awkwardly. You could see from him, that he had been hectically searching for Lorian, but yet now he tried to look nonchalant. Presumably to make the young man feel less threatened. Lorian wanted so bad to remind him, that it wasn't necessary to try and coddle a Vulcan. His point was muddied by the fact, that he was curled up in a tight knot in the crack of the wall.

"Doctor Phlox asked me to tell, that your dad is doing well under the circumstances", the Captain said.

"He's still going to die", Lorian stated with a voice that didn't break, nor show the teeniest bit of erratic jumble that was his emotions. Captain Archer sighed and sat down on the floor next to him.

"If I was in your dad's boots, I don't think I'd be able to pull through with as as much dignity as he's doing. He's moving about and conscious. But believe me, he's scared too."

The Captain told him tentatively how his meeting with Commander Tucker in the sickbay had been. He didn't try to soften up the blow in any way, as he knew, that Lorien didn't care for the Human way of trying to avoid painful subjects with euphemisms.

It was a miracle, that Trip Tucker had even survived the plasma blast alive – but as other physical injuries were treatable, the damage to the neurons in his brain was too severe for the tissue repair. One after the other his brain functions would decay and stop all together. In a few days he'll sink into a coma, which would be followed by a brain death and a heart failure. And Lorien should go to him now.

"But what if I cry?" Lorian asked so very seriously. Archer looked at him. The boy had his father's features and his mother's concentration. He was a perfect mix of a Human insecurity and shyness, and a Vulcan core-drilling practicality. Archer couldn't even start to imagine or understand what kind of conflict this poor boy was, as different philosophies kept pulling him apart in two directions. This was the worst situation possible to be uncertain.

"I'm pretty sure that now, if ever, it's appropriate to cry."

Archer's answer wasn't logical. You wouldn't think you should go and pour your own anguish over a dying a man. Shouldn't Lorian go to him in solace, and not make his father's last moments even more miserable? Archer disagreed, but couldn't explain him why. Humans are insufferable like that. He asked Lorien to pull himself together and go to his father. He did.

Commander Tucker lived whole ten days after Lorian came to him, and he didn't leave by his side anymore. Lorian was there when he spoke to him the last time, and then when he slipped away during the night. Not a word about excessive sentimentality.

T'Pol didn't make it back from her travels to a far away planet until it was too late. Hers and Trip Tuckers sacred bond broke even before the Commander's heart had stopped. Lorian cried on his bed, just like Vulcans didn't. He almost expected his mother to bestow him, or at least criticize.

T'Pol sat quietly. She was too mourning, even if she didn't show it.

"I am proud of you, Son", she said when she finally spoke, "Your trial was too rough, but you survived advisably."

Ten days, his mother approved this as his rite. _Kahs-wan_ doesn't judge you from crying or being afraid, it only asks if you're _surviving._ And here was Lorian. Fourteen years old, not fully a Human, not a Vulcan. He had survived.

 **FIN**


End file.
